I got troubles, but they gonna wash away, they're gonna wash away...

This has been a bitch. It comes and goes, and I am holding myself together. Sometimes things hit me really hard. Brad refused to answer my phone calls and told me to "quit" "quit" "stop calling me" "i think I've been through enough" I was shocked, I don't know why he did this because he was the one who made me go to the hospital, and went with me and was distant but supportive. That hurt me a lot. I don't know why he's doing this. After all that ordeal he just brushes me off. I talked to my cousin Leanne and that was so helpful. I just sat outside a lot today and cried, I didn't wanna be home I didn't wanna be anywhere. My friend Briana came down from the other side of the island to be with me, then I just stayed with jess all day. Everyone's got their advice, sometimes that is just more depressing. Jessica called the crisis hotline and got me a number of a counselor and told me to at least call them tomorrow. I didn't go to school yesterday or today but my doc note is only for 2 days. I don't work until Thursday. I might take a leave of absence but its getting to the last month and I can't take much time off. I need to stay focused but its hard. I tried sitting down and doing some homework today but I can't I can't think about really anything. I can't eat but I didn't have trouble sleeping last night... I don't know how tonight is going to go. I spent 6.5 hours in the er yesterday too so that might have been something. Today was sad though. I dropped the charges, I lost Brad, and I got a sunburn. I can't let myself crumble, it might take a few weeks but I will be able to smile again, I know I am stronger than these people holding me back. Most of my friends have been really understanding.