a rollercoaster in my brain and through my heart

Yesterday wasn't such a bad day. I went to the movies with Sarah, and I held it together pretty good. I called Drew to return my bike, and he actually called me back. Drew is Brad's best friend, but who knows. I hope I get my bike back eventually not like I use it much but if I don't ask now I'll never see it again. Last night was okay and I went to sleep early, hoping I would wake up early and get something done. I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night, probably because I took like a four hour nap before the movie. But I had some dreams when I finally went to sleep. I was hiking wtih some friends, and Brad and Drew. It was like a good, normal day, and everything felt fine. Then I went kayaking and then I had to get to work and I thougth I was going to be late. I woke up and everythig was not normal, and everything was fucked up and it all felt awful and I just cried all morning. I didn't have classes today which I guess is good since I wouldn't have been able to make it anyways. I made an appointmnt with the crisis counselor and actually kept it. It was right across the street from the Aloha Towers so I stopped in there and talked to Dave first. I didn't need to do much talking, this doctors note from the emergency room and the police case number with the sexual assault file does most of the talking for me. I jsut hand it over and said i'm sorry, i don't know if I can work here any more. He said just call when you feel like you can come back to work. That went a lot smoother than I thought it was going to.
i jsut woke up from a nap, now i hope i can get to bed tonight, thats the worst, not being able to sleep and bein all alone. i am gonna go grab a salad cuz i feel like eating and all i've had to day is like one serving of cheetos and a bowl of cereal. not too bad but i like food and i dont usually consume less than like 1500 calories. nothing sounds good and actually eating seems gross, but i'll go do it. salad is nice.