Welcome, me!

Oh boy another blog! I had a pretty well kept blog on myspace but too many people I know and write about have myspace, so this is more personal, well its more just for Rose and myself. I blog a lot about useless shit, like how much i hate my job, and dumb boys are, and they really, really are, and about my traveling dreams and how I am doing in school. Also you'll hear all the dumb stuff like what days I go to the beach, what days I see so and so, the bad fights with my roommate, the stuff I wanna say but can't say around everyone ya know? And I have a lot to catch up on because I stopped blogging on myspace a while ago.

Originally from Maine, moved to Hawaii a year and 4 months ago to go to UH, I worked all over for short periods of time, now I'm working at Hooters and I've been there for almost 8 months... that is a damn long time, that's almost the longest job I've ever had!! And I'm pretty ready to move on actually, find something closer to Waikiki where I live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my own room and a pretty cool roommate and her friend Dana who is staying with us for a little while. Usually we get along really well, like sisters not best friends and it works out well for us. Somedays she freaks out and just goes off the deep end, those days are bad for me and that scares me sometimes, but she doesn't do it very often. I'm really ready for summer and ready to do some serious chow down, jesus is back in town, traveling. I have plans to go back to Maine for a couple weeks, then fly down with my sister to Rio De Janerio to visit a friend of hers. It isn't in the books but I really want to go to England and see a guy there who I've known for a long ass time but who I just recently started seriously hanging out with over Christmas break. Not that England is very exciting, but I have never been and I would love to see Europe. Australia of course but outside of the box I will someday visit as many South American countries as I can and as many African countris as I can, and hopefully I will visit India and Indonesia, and Thailand, and Vietnam, places most people don't put on their vacation wish list. So I love to travel, and I love to read, and I love to walk around and watch other people walking around. I love the beach and the ocean and I plan on getting my scubadiving cert, as many as I can cuz i wanna do all kinds of scuba diving, all over the world!! I want to get my A license for sky diving, but its costs about 4 grand and right now I just can't afford that so much... This year I plan on just getting my scuba diving certs, a bar tending license, a new job, and a new perspective on life. I might stay in school or I might take a year off to gain residency, but that takes a lot of consideration... When will I travel? how much time will I have to travel? what do I need to do to get my residency in Hawaii? Do I even want to stay in Hawaii and finish school here? what do I want to major in when I come back? I'm not on a lease now and I can't get on a lease here where I live, so if I need to be on a lease for a year to gain residency I will have to move. I need to get a drivers license here, but that just takes like 4 hours in one day. I have to work straight for a year, with out going to school full time and I can't have left the island for more than 2 weeks consecutively while I am working on gaining my residency. I can take once class a semester, other people say you can take 3 as long as it isnt full time, but it depends on who you ask. I don't even know what I want to major in but I need to decide before I plan on becoming a resident because if I change my mind I will have wasted that whole year. I would like to be a bartender because while I'm not in school I'll be working and I'll need ajob that will support my rent, food, hopefully a car and gas for this car, insurance for me and my car, and then my instate tuition when I go back to school. Rent is pretty heavy out here if I have to move out of my amazing apartment now, which we just furnished with new couch and loveseat... Its a good deal I can't beat in Hawaii, especially with Dana living with us that took my rent down 100$ too, so I'm paying 450 plus utilities. That is damn good, even if I wasn't living 2 blocks from the beach in the heart of Waikiki!!! So no, i don't wana move. If i have to be on the lease, jess is getting a divorce from her husband then seh can take him off the lease and hopefully add me. I don't even know if i have to be on a lease for a year. I'm just guessing. Right now waitressing is good money and it sustains me, but bartending is even better money. Aside from stripping, bartending and waitressing is as good as it gets with out a degree of some sort! I've saving money prety good with this job, but I don't ahve to pay tuition. I'm saving for my trip to Rio most importantly, and a new camera and mem card cuz mine just died... a car so I can go to the north shore and do what i want! haha, and yesterday I got myself a new amber bracelet. Everyone says the international marketplace only sells fake shit but it looks real enough to me, it was 70, and its really nice. if it is fake, no one will ever notice cuz i can't tell. I wonder if i can take it in somewhere and have it checked. I'm not gonna pawn it so really... it doesnt matter. i want a new bathing suit, and I just got Brad a new pair of sandles cuz his broke right before he left. I know I know, brad is a jerk and I deserve so much better. Its true, and I'm not gonna deny it any more, but he is going through a lot and he does need new sandles, so i got him some and I don't expect him to repay the favor. Warren and Matt aren't exactly the next biggest winners either. Warren, I was so excited we were getting so close again, I thought we would for sur get back together when he came out for the summer, but he once again let me down big time, and just crushed everything we had worked so hard to build back up. So fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and then on... I'm to blame and I'm not takin the blame any more, I'm moving my ass on. Sick of players and flirts. If you need women to drool all over you, you're not for me. I need someone who can stand on their own, whether people like them or not. It really was the best quality about jack. He didn't give a shit what people said or thought about him, and he didn't like attention from women he couldn't give a shit less. It only mattered what I thought, and that was the best thing ever, that was the most secure thing I have ever felt. Guys out here, they don't have that at all. And that's all I'm looking for. So right now I'm not worrying about guys, they come and go and I certainly am not going to put them over my ladies. Not that I have a strong posse, because I have come to realize no one is for ever in this world. nothing is for good and people only come and go, its what has to happen especially in this stage of my life. I look back on the last year and I can't believe how many people I thought were for sure in my life and who are gone and have been effortlessly replaced. Even their memories fade and this is life. I just plan on having fun in the moment because all we are is a fragment of time, a moment of life in a recyclable system. I'm studying tibetan and zen buddhism, they are so interesting, I am not practicing yet but I plan on findng a temple and a group and maybe getting quite into that. I'm pretty busy with school though right now, and speaking of which I only have 2 hours to finish all the homework that is due for tomorrow. I know I wont get any of it done after work so I should get crackin on that now. This has been fun, and theres lots more to come, I'm an endless fountain of unconnecting words and thoughts.