I want this day to last and last and last

It was a good day to take off. Tuesdays are usually not busy at Hooters, and my friend Brandon took me out kayaking again. I want so much for him to be my friend not because he wants to sleep with me. It hurt so so so so so much, when Brad told me that guys only hang out with me because they want to fuck me. I asked him if maybe it wasn't my personality, and he said no its because they want to fuck. I think there is more to me than that, but I don't know. I am weary, and I am not attracted or anything with Brandon, I want him to just want to be friends with me and want to take me so many places and hangout with me so much because we are friends. I am so scared this will get fucked up like Jen and Rob. I am so... really scared of fucking up and letting my guard down and just thinking that maybe he could be my friend. sometimes when he says things I am like, that could be hitting on me, maybe he does want more, and I get so paranoid. It was so offending when Brad told me that, and usually the things he says are so mean just because he wants to be mean, but that one hit home. I do worry that maybe that is all guys want. I wonder, and I do have a lot of problems having guys as just friends. So that was a home run for him I guess. But we all know Brad is a jerk and its wrong to listen to anything at all that he has to say. That just was a little too close to home I guess n I"m letting it get to me.

But Brandon is a nice nice guy and I hope he doesn't every try anything wiht me to fuck up our friendship. We have so many plans and we have a lot of fun hanging out together. LIke a girlfriend and I don't ever want him to try anything funny. We went kayaking today over at Lanikai, the most beautiful beach in Hawaii. We paddled out to flat island, bird sanctuary and that was fun, but the other island we paddled to, two miles off flat island was even cooler. I forgot my camera so we bought an underwater camera but ran out of pics half way through our trip. So we are going to have to go back. The other "mok" island is also a bird sanctuary. It was big and there was lots to explore. The water was so beautiful and even though it was rainy in Waikiki, which is rare, that meant good weather on the other side of the island. It was a beautiful day and I had so much fun. I'm getting pretty good at this kayaking, and even in open ocean it was not as bad as I thought. We had a double kayak though, I didn't have to pull my own the whole time which was a relief, I am not so ready for that yet!

After kayaking I met sarah at taco tuesdays but we had to catch a movie so we didn't have time to stay. We saw forgetting Sarah marshall, soo funny! Her, and her friend jordan met us there. He is a sweetie. We hit hooters afterwards for free food and to see my girlies. Briana was working and a lot of the new girls I like a lot. We went upstairs to bikinis afterwards because Greg was working. Lindsey came up later and drank with us, we played a couple games of pool then it was time to roll out. A full and eventful day off, that is the way I like to spend my time away from hooters. Tomorrow its back to work, another slow slow day, but I have thursday off too, Brandon wants to take me to a steakhouse cuz I told him how much I miss steak and pototes from maine. then we are going to the body exhibit, which I didn't know was real bodies. Now that I know that I'm glad we are eating before we go, I don't knwo how much of an apetite I will have after that. But it sounds so cool and it is only been showed in like 34 cities around the world, so it will be cool.

Hey lakers lost the finals, and the CELTICS WON yeaaah baby go east coast!